One of my favorite sayings when I pull a bonehead move is, “I am soooo human!” It’s compassionate, accurate, and usually makes me giggle at myself.

So I got a chance to say that today when, at a client’s office, I managed to sit down on the toilet and dunk my long jacket in the water.

Slosh.

Eyes wide open in horror. “Hold it!” I think to myself. Good thing I noticed, um, RIGHT AWAY.

I hop up, yanking the jacket ends out of the toilet, splashing the floor and me in one graceless move. I hang my jacket on the stall door, mop up the floor, and proceed about my business, contemplating the whole problem of how to disguise the fact that I’ve just nearly peed on myself.

I figure people can ignore the damp backs of my pants where the jacket hit my calves, but likely not the TWO FOOT WET SPOT on the rump area of my jacket. So I do this tricky origami-like folding job with my jacket to cover the wet spot, then make sure I’m all tucked in for the trip back to my office. Feigning normal, I march to my office to strategically hang the offending source of embarrassment on the back of my office door. Then I’m off to meetings in their sub-zero conference rooms with short sleeves and a dry butt. No problem!

Five hours later I put on my mostly dry but watermarked jacket, chuckle at myself and think, “I am soooo human!”